12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself
You know you’re on the right track when you can repeat each of the following headlines to yourself, honestly. (And if you can’t, this list gives you something positive to work on.)
1. I am following my heart and intuition.
Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember years from now. Make decisions and act on them. Make mistakes, fall and try again. Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been. At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.
Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something. It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit. This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t let others extinguish your flame. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition. Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like. Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.
And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way. Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one. Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage. At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did. Read Quitter.
2. I am proud of myself.
You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic. Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you in the mirror is your own. Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING! You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.
People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others. It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.
Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot. It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted. All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life. Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.
3. I am making a difference.
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
Is it true that we all live to serve? That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny? The answer is a simple ‘yes.’ When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.
You are only one, but you are one. You cannot do everything, but you can do something. Smile and enjoy the fact that you made a difference – one you’ll likely remember forever.
4. I am happy and grateful.
Happiness is within you, in your way of thinking. How you view yourself and your world are mindful choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.
Being grateful will always make you happy. If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen. Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.
5. I am growing in to the best version of me.
Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.” Live by this statement. There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.
Remember, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Improve continuously, take care of your body and health, and surround yourself with positivity. Become the best version of you.
6. I am making my time count.
Time is the most valuable constituent of life. Make the time for what does matter today. Really being in the moment, finding passion in your life, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around you right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food and savoring life’s little pleasures.
Remember, your time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back. You really do only have a short period to live. So let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Make your time count!
7. I am honest with myself.
Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on.
Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Four Agreements.
8. I am good to those I care about.
In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.
When was the last time you told your family and close personal friends that you loved them? Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Understand them.
Many times it’s our actions, not just our words that really speak what our heart feels for another.
9. I know what unconditional love feels like.
Whether your love is towards a child, a lover, or another family member, know the feeling of giving love and not expecting anything in return – this is what lies at the heart of unconditional love. Life through unconditional love is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight. This love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times.
Love is beautiful and unpredictable. It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be. In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us. When you love unconditionally, it isn’t because the person you love is perfect, it’s because you learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.
10. I have forgiven those who once hurt me.
We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt. And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.
11. I take full accountability for my life.
Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.
You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence. Read The Road Less Traveled.
12. I have no regrets.
This one is simply a culmination of the previous eleven…
Follow your heart. Be true to yourself. Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live. Say what you need to say. Offer a helping hand when you’re able. Appreciate all the things you do have. Smile. Celebrate your small victories. Learn from your mistakes. Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise. Forgive. And let go of the things you can’t control.
A reminder for me. Common sense, we sometimes forget. Sometimes when we are trying our best to move forward, something comes along to block us. Here are 10 tips to help you keep moving in the right direction in spite of it all:
1. Get out of the house or office. If you can’t get your mind clear, sometimes stepping outside can give you a new perspective.
RESULTING ACTION: Getting some fresh air will enliven your senses, and your brain will start to think of new things.
2. Start writing. Turn on your computer, or get out a pen and paper and write down whatever is in your head.
RESULTING ACTION: Once you’ve cleared out most of the extemporaneous thoughts, the ones you want will appear.
3. Work on a different project. If you can’t do what’s immediately in front of you, find something else to occupy your thoughts and energy.
RESULTING ACTION: It doesn’t really matter what it is; you are taking this action to clear your mind by temporarily putting aside whatever you’re stuck on.
4. Clean your desk. Sometimes we have so many irons in the fire that we can get bogged down with what to do first. As you clean your desk, not only will you break a pattern of inactivity, but you will find things that you’ve already completed and can put away.
RESULTING ACTION: Doing so will give you some more room to process your thoughts.
5. Take a deep breath. You would be surprised at how many people hold their breath when they feel tense. When you cut off the oxygen supply from your brain and body, you can’t function as well.
RESULTING ACTION: Breathing deeply a few times can re-energize you and give you that little extra bit of clarity that you need .
6. Take a shower. Even if it’s the middle of your day, a shower can change your perspective and help you get going.
RESULTING ACTION: We all feel better when we get clean, and though it seems like a small step, it may be just the trick you need to get back on a positive path.
7. Call a good friend. Hearing the voice of someone you care about and spending a few minutes getting involved in their world can give you a new outlook on yours.
RESULTING ACTION: Making this positive emotional connection may be just what you need to get moving again.
8. Move your body. Dance, get up and walk around the room, pick up your clothes, or do some exercise. Get those endorphins circulating through your brain.
RESULTING ACTION: Being sedentary retards your ability to come up with new ideas.
9. Read. Someone else’s words of wisdom can give you some new or different ideas.
RESULTING ACTION: Reading can also help you relax and recharge your mental batteries.
10. Listen to your heart. What is it trying to tell you about where you are and what you are attempting to do?
RESULTING ACTION: Perhaps there is a missing piece that will help you solve the puzzle.
We all get stuck in our thoughts and actions from time to time. The key is not to let it continue any longer than necessary. The sooner you can free your thoughts, the better you will feel and the more your results will show themselves to you.
Written by: Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist, Westlake Village California.